3 Lessons from my First Mentor to Elevate Your 2022

In 2008, I spent my holidays at the Tumaini Hospital in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. I was visiting my mentor, a 52-year-old patient with a brain tumor. My mentor was a wonderful person, not because of his numerous professional, academic, and personal achievements but because of his dedication and commitment to improving his life and the lives of others through education.

My mentor came from humble beginnings. He was born in rural Tanzania, in a small village called Rumashi located close to the border of Tanzania and Burundi. He was the 5th of 6 children and spent his younger years either farming, or watching over his family’s cattle, or walking through game reserves to get to and from school which was many kilometres away. Even though his days were long and tiring and he had no option but to solely rely on candlelight when studying inthe evenings, he somehow managed to graduate with excellent grades and was awarded a government scholarship to attend a secondary school for gifted kids. After high school, he went on to receive his bachelor’s degree in Civil Engineering and an MBA in Finance from the University of Dar es Salaam. Years later, he would complete his PhD in Engineering Economics from the University of Leoben and become a social sciences professor.

My mentor, understood the transformative power of quality education and dedicated his life to serving and mentoring young minds. At the time of his death in May 2009, he was the pioneering Dean of Social Sciences at the University of Dodoma. I would love to write a memoir about my mentor, and maybe some day I will, but for now, I’d like to shift the focus from his life line to the values that guided the man.

From farm boy to professor, he was hard working, disciplined, charming, funny, and unbearably stubborn. 2022 marks 13 years since he passed and as I look back on his journey, I am inspired by his attitude and commitment to living an excellent life. In the paragraphs that follow, I’d like to share with you the 3 most impactful lessons I learnt from him, either by observation or through our interactions. These lessons are a constant source of motivation in my life, whenever I feel stuck, or lost, or confused and I hope that they will be a source of motivation for you too in 2022 and beyond.

1. Time is a valuable resource — both yours and that of others.

My mentor never wasted any time. He knew he only had 24 hours a day and lived accordingly. If there is one thing that everyone who knew him would agree on then it would be this — that he was always on time and always got to the point!

It sounds like a simple way to be, but in reality many of us struggle with our time management skills. We don’t critically consider the requirements behind our engagements, we fill up our calendars with more than we can handle, and rush from one commitment to the other. Or worse, we multi-task and deliver mediocre outcomes as a result of our lack of focus. We then proceed to wonder why things aren’t going smoothly or why we’re not getting the results we hoped for. In trying to resolve the issues that arise from our lack of focused commitment, we add even more fire-drill type meetings to our calendars and the vicious cycle continues affecting us and our communities simultaneously.

The good news is that is doesn’t have to be that way and we don’t need to spend our lives playing catch up. My mentor was a pro at prioritising and saying no. If you’re reading this and feel like you’re living in chaos, I challenge you to reevaluate your to-do list and identify whether all the commitments on it are worth pursuing and whether you can actually get them done. Are they things you really want to be spending your time on or are they inherited from other people’s priorities? If your answer to the latter part of that question is yes, then you’re probably spending your 24-hour days realising someone else’s dreams.

2. Make decisions quickly — done is better than perfect.

One of the things that made my mentor so efficient in life was his ability to make decisions fast and the hard truth is that many of us still need to grow this muscle. When faced with a tough decision, we tend to spend unbelievable amounts of time researching — pros, cons, challenges, alternatives, success stories etc. While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with collecting data to get an idea of what we’re getting ourselves into, we don’t need to be killer researchers to make progress.

Pulling from my own experiences, I believe that there are two factors that heavily influence our decision making process: data and our gut / intuition / heart — whatever you want to call it. Usually, we have a predetermined outcome we’d like and we try to find the data that will validate our gut feeling. When we don’t find it, we’re frustrated, hold off on making any decision, and end up stuck. In reality however, what we want and what data may suggest as the right course of action are not related.

The best thing we can do for ourselves when faced with decision paralysis is to first and foremost distinguish between the two factors. Once that’s done, understanding our motivations behind our preferred outcomes and understanding that data is simply an objective snapshot of past trends will liberate us to take the next step. And remember, failing is not a crime. Don’t be paralysed by the possibility of failure.

3. Have a backbone.

My mentor was very confident in his choices, recommendations, and suggestions even when they were unpopular or unconventional. I sometimes think he wished I didn’t learn this from him, especially because I made his life a living hell — always challenging him and unwilling to give in. Nevertheless, I loved questioning his thought process and enjoyed discussing with him all the reasons why I believed in mine.

This lesson is important because most of us tend to forget that not everyone has to like our ideas, not everyone shares our perspectives, and not everyone has our background. What may seem as an obvious option for us, may not be the case for those around us. That’s the power of diversity.

If you’re struggling to voice your thoughts or to commit to your ideas because you’re afraid that other people will not like you for sharing your authentic point of view, then I’m here to remind you that by holding back, you’re doing yourself and your community a disservice. Embrace your authentic self and don’t let social conformity kill your vibe. On the other hand, don’t be too stubborn especially when faced with reasonable facts and arguments. The only thing worse than inauthenticity is being irrationally hard headed and hindering progress.

That’s it. Those are the 3 most powerful lessons I learnt from my mentor. This man was both my first male role model and my father. His name is Joseph Baradyana and he was an inspiring human being.

I hope that this article will motivate you to transform how you manage your time, will push you to elevate your decision making skills, and encourage you to grow your confidence. If you’d like to share some of the lessons you’ve collected from your own mentors over the years, then please leave a comment below. I’d love to hear more perspectives and stories. Also, if my father’s journey has inspired or touched you in any way, please share this post. Conversations about him help keep his spirit alive.

Until then, stay confident!

Kwaheri,

Imma

Imma Baradyana is an international technology professional, storyteller, and aspiring motivational speaker who writes about her personal, professional, and academic experiences. Each of her stories includes actionable advice and tips that are designed to help you along your journey.

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